Parenting by Presence: How Neal and Brooke Brown’s Approach Can Transform Your Family Dynamic
In an age where busy schedules and digital distractions dominate family life, the concept of “parenting by presence” has become increasingly relevant. Neal Brown, head football coach at West Virginia University, and his wife, Brooke, shared their philosophy on this topic during a recent interview on the Championship Parenting podcast. Their insights offer valuable lessons for parents seeking to strengthen their family bonds through intentional presence and engagement.
The Essence of Parenting by Presence
Parenting by presence, as Neal and Brooke describe it, is about more than just being physically present. It’s about making a conscious effort to engage with your children, actively participating in their lives, and demonstrating that they are a top priority. For the Browns, this means attending their children’s sporting events, being involved in their daily routines, and ensuring that their kids know they are supported and valued.
Neal emphasizes the importance of this approach, especially given the demands of his career. “I want our three kids to remember, when they look back, to know that we were there at their sporting events, at their school stuff,” he says. This consistent presence, Neal believes, is crucial in showing children that they are the most important part of their parents’ lives, despite any professional or personal obligations.
The Impact of Presence on Children’s Development
Research supports the Browns’ belief that parental presence plays a critical role in a child’s emotional and social development. Children who feel supported and engaged by their parents are more likely to develop strong self-esteem, better social skills, and a deeper sense of security. Neal and Brooke’s commitment to being present in their children’s lives has undoubtedly contributed to their kids’ success, both on and off the field.
Brooke highlights the importance of this presence in managing the complexities of parenting multiple children with different personalities and needs. “We definitely have strengths and weaknesses, and you’ll definitely see maybe one child gravitating towards one of us over the other in that scenario, but it’s going to change,” she explains. By being present, parents can better understand and respond to the unique needs of each child, fostering a more supportive and nurturing environment.
Balancing Presence with Professional Demands
For many parents, balancing work and family life is a constant challenge. Neal and Brooke offer a model for how to navigate this balance without sacrificing the quality of time spent with their children. Neal, whose job as a college football coach requires long hours and intense focus, makes a concerted effort to prioritize his family. Whether it’s attending a game, helping with homework, or simply spending time together, Neal ensures that his presence is felt, even amid his demanding schedule.
Brooke, who often takes the lead on day-to-day parenting due to Neal’s work commitments, underscores the importance of being a team in this effort. “We can’t show that to our kids. We’ve got to put forth a unified kind of front,” she says. This teamwork allows the Browns to maintain a consistent and supportive presence in their children’s lives, regardless of who is taking the lead at any given moment.
Practical Strategies for Implementing Parenting by Presence
For parents looking to adopt a similar approach, Neal and Brooke offer several practical strategies:
Prioritize Family Time: No matter how busy your schedule, make time for your children. Attend their events, engage in their interests, and be there for the small moments that matter. As Neal emphasizes, even simple acts like taking your child to school can have a significant impact.
Be Intentional with Your Time: When you’re with your children, be fully present. Put away distractions like phones or work and focus on engaging with them. Neal mentions how important it is to be mentally present, not just physically there, to show your children that they are your priority.
Adapt to Each Child’s Needs: Every child is different, and your approach to parenting should reflect that. Brooke talks about how their children gravitate towards different parents at different times, depending on their needs. By being present, you can better understand and respond to these individual needs.
Support Your Partner: Parenting is a team effort, and maintaining a unified front is crucial. Neal and Brooke stress the importance of supporting each other, even when they might not agree on a particular issue. This unified approach provides stability and security for their children.
Model Healthy Behaviors: Your children learn from your actions. By being present and engaged, you’re modeling the kind of behavior you want them to adopt. Neal hopes that by being present at his children’s events, he’s teaching them the importance of making time for the things that matter.
Conclusion: The Power of Presence
Parenting by presence is not just a strategy—it’s a commitment to prioritizing your children and making sure they know they are valued. Neal and Brooke Brown’s approach demonstrates that even with demanding careers, it’s possible to maintain a strong family dynamic through intentional engagement and presence. By adopting these principles, parents can create a more supportive, nurturing environment that helps their children thrive.
In a world where it’s easy to become overwhelmed by work and other obligations, Neal and Brooke Brown’s example serves as a powerful reminder that the most important job we have is being present for our children. As Neal succinctly puts it, “Parenting is really, really hard…but it should be the most rewarding thing that we do.”
For more insight on parenting and leadership from the brightest minds in American sports, subscribe to Championship Parenting wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes are published every Tuesday.
